Get Me Downunder

The Adventure Starts Here

My boyfriend of 6 months has just broken the news to me that he wants to move to Australia and is going to start the ball rolling. Though this may not happen for a few years, it has taken me by suprise! I do love him and envisaged being together long term, but now I'm not so sure. I have never been there so I don't feel I can at this stage make this descision. He spent a year there a while ago but now he's turning 34, he wants to get back asap! The thought of leaving my mother behind, though I don't see her often is quite scary. I think I could cope as we're not that close, but I think it would probably break her heart, if not finish her off as she's 71! All these thoughts are currently going through my head and I feel so confused! Maybe I shouldn't make any decisions until I've been. Some advice would be appreciated. Thanks. From a very confused 34 year old girl.

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Comment by Helenah14 on February 21, 2009 at 13:31
Okay so deep breathes. Six months isn't very to have been with someone to then move across the world with them. But if he is the one and that is the right thing to do think you'll feel it. Has he asked you to go with him? Could you do your job there? Does it appeal to you?

I spent six months in Australia and worked there and loved it. My Aussie friends who live in London i think are mad. But i couldn't do my job in australia and i love it. Also I couldn't leave my mum and sister at the moment. Whereabouts in Australia does he want to move to?
Comment by Joe on February 19, 2009 at 17:22
Easy, go with him. my wife and i moved to NZ 6 years ago (we are now back). Was incredibly hard to leave people behind but with email, text, on line video etc its amazing how easy it is to keep in touch 'in real time' with folks. It really didnt feel like 1200 miles at all, and people do make the effort to come out - even my 82 year old grandmother made it out to see us one year.

Our philosophy was simple - we can always come back. the worst thing would be to sit there in 10 years time and ask 'what would have happened if we'd gone' and regret the chance passing us by. Without getting too zen, there's a great line in the Matrix "you've been down that road Neo, you know exactly where it leads" which sums up what we felt about not going - we knew where staying would put us, exactly where we were.

We had no regrets at all. We are back know 'cos I got a good job offer, but we even see this as temporary - could go to Oz next, Canada, Europe. It is a life changing thing to do, to move countries, and its incredibly easy to think of reasons not to, but for us it was the most empowering thing we ever did. Australia is an incredible country, trust your instincts, trust your partner and go for it - life's not a dress rehearsal!

one more thing - if you do go, expect a terrible homesickness to kick in around 9 to 12 months. First few months are great, new, exciting, then routine sets in and it hits you. Ride it out, it does go. I know so many people who give up and go home around the 12 month markm and regret it. Give yourself 18 months minimum is my suggestion.

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